Let's get one thing straight —
The Cleaner doesn't care about you.
The Cleaner doesn't care what you did over the weekend — what you ate. What you drank.
The Cleaner doesn't care about why you ordered a cheeseburger when you swore you wouldn't.
The Cleaner doesn't want to know why you hit the wine or the candy stash after a long day at work or with the kids.
You see, The Cleaner doesn't concern himself with these matters, because they won't change the task at hand.
The Cleaner simply has a job to do.
Especially on Mondays, when The Cleaner always seems to have extra work to do.
Definition: in crime fiction, the Cleaner is someone who comes in to deal with a botched crime scene.
The Cleaner removes incriminating evidence. He cleans up the mess.
He makes The Problem go away. As if it never happened.
The Cleaner is actually a character in a movie — as played by Harvey Keitel in the 1993 movie, “Point of No Return.” And, also in “Pulp Fiction.”
The Cleaner is also the name of my go-to Monday morning smoothie.
Does it seem strange to you that inspiration for a smoothie comes from Harvey Keitel's Cleaner, a violent and very scary dude?
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
Sometimes, the messes we make over the weekend are so epic — the cocktails, the pizza, the cheeseburgers, the spicy tater tots — we need to bring in the big guns.
In other words, we need to bring in a ruthless specialist to deal with the aftermath.
To go about the business of erasing what we've done.
There's a large part of us who wants our smoothies to be sweet and easy, cherry-cheeked and cheerful.
But a smaller part of us understands that the smoothie from sunshine-and-puppies-land doesn't get you right in a hurry.
It doesn't flood the body with leafy greens and antioxidants and chlorophyll and fiber to clear out the damage from the weekend.
It can't do what The Cleaner does.
Monday mornings are when The Cleaner goes to work.
And, depending on the kind of weekend you had, the Cleaner might need to come back on Tuesday. And on Wednesday. And maybe even all the way up until Saturday.
Think about how you spent the last couple of days.
Do you need The Cleaner?
I thought so.
Make the call.
Open the door.
Get out of the way and let The Cleaner get to work.
By the way, calling in The Cleaner is one of the key part-time detox (“flex-tox”) practices used in my brand-new online nutrition and lifestyle coaching program, Camp Kale.
For details, see info and links below.
What the Heck is Camp Kale?
Camp Kale looks a little different than my other programs. Actually — a lot different.
It isn’t a diet program.
And it isn’t really a true detox.
It’s not about restriction or gritting our teeth or grinding it out.
It’s not about obsessing about the foods we can’t or shouldn’t have.
Instead, it’s about exploring, experimenting and playing our way to a healthier, happier summer.
What Happens at Camp Kale?
Camp Kale is my new online nutrition and lifestyle coaching program. It costs $139, and takes place from July 6-August 1, 2015.
Camp Kale is a plant-powered nutrition and lifestyle protocol that will help you add more vegetables and fruit to your diet, regardless of the protein you prefer.
The program is open to all “tribes” — omnivore (i.e. eats chicken, beef, fish), pescatarian, vegetarian, vegan, etc.
All content for the program is delivered online, straight to your email inbox.
Camp Kale Activities
What can you expect from enrolling in Camp Kale? Lots of things!
- Learn powerful “flex-tox” strategies to help manage weight, and balance the body, while indulging in summer treats and festivities.
- Use improved nutrition (eat more fruits and vegetables!) to look and feel good in our swimsuits, running shorts, and party attire.
- Celebrate summer’s bounty with delicious “real food” recipes: smoothies, breakfast dishes, juices, salads, soups, “bowls,” wraps, grill/skillet meals and other tasty fare.
- Explore the benefits of incorporating “raw” and plant-based foods into our diet, regardless of the kind of protein we eat.
- Support and strengthen your body with enhanced nutrition coaching from a certified holistic nutritionist.
Who Needs Camp Kale?
- Those of us who partied our faces off last summer.
- The “veggie-challenged” — people who know they “should” eat more vegetables, but haven’t figured out how to make that happen just yet.
- People who are trying to manage their cholesterol, weight, body mass index or blood sugar levels — and could benefit from some extra guidance and support around nutrition, meal planning and cooking.
- Omnivores, vegetarians, vegans, take-out junkies, Paleo-ists, the Plant-Curious — anyone who has fallen into a flavor rut and wants to excite the palate with fresh and simple seasonal recipes.
- People who are interested in learning more about juicing, healthy smoothies, raw foods, and nutrient-dense superfoods.
Want more details? Click here for info on Camp Kale.
Or if you’re ready to register for Camp Kale ($139), then click here!